FUNNY SMS

Can I make a call to my wife?

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

Why student fails ?

WHY STUDENT FAIL
Sundays-52 in a year,Days left 313
Summer holidays 50,Days left 263
8 hrs daily sleep-130 days GONe, Days left 141
1 hr daily playing means 15 days,Days left 126
2 hrs daily for eating means 30 days.Days left 96,
1 hr talking means 15 days.,Days left 81
Exams days 35 days,Days left 46
Eid & Gov holidays 20, Days left 26
Movies,TV at least 25 days,Days left 1
That 1 day is your BIRTHDAY.
Hun banda SALGIRHA waly din bhi parhy?

Roz roz ka drama nahi hota

2010 is coming

Wish u a very
Happy new year
Valentine’s day
Basant
23rd march
14 august
Eid ul fitr
Eid ul azha
Friendship day
Mother, father
Dadi, dada
Nana, nani
Children’s day
Happy b’day
365 good mornings
After noons, evenings’
& nights

Roz roz ka drama nahi
Hota mujh se
Ab pura saal mat kehna
SMS nahi kia

Let the boss speak first

Once, Boss, Officer & Clerk going 4 a meeting.
They saw a Jin.
Jin said: As i fulfill 3 wishes at a time
But u r 3 persons so i will fulfill 1 wish for each. 

Clerk said: Send me to America with a lot of money clerk disappears. (wish fulfilled)
Officer said: Send me to Paris with a lot of beautiful girls. officer disappears. (wish fulfilled)
Jin said to Boss: what is ur wish?
He said: “I want these two idiots back at office after lunch.”
Moral: Always Let the BOSS SPEAK 1st

Positive thought

A baby mosquito came back after its 1st fight.
.
.
.
Dad asked: “how did u feel?”
.
.
.
It replied: “Dad it was wonderful. evry1 ws clappin 4 me”

Moral: Take evrything positively

SMS Jokes

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

 

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

 

The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

 

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

 

Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

 

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

 

Why were males created before females? 
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.

 

I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!

 

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

 

Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.

 

Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac? 

 

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

 

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

 

I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...

 

There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.

 

What did the elephant say to the naked man? 
How do you breathe through that thing?

 

What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive? 
Popeye beat the crap outta him. 

 

I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

 

A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says: 
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." 

 

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. 
Employee: Who's there? 
Boss: Not you anymore.

 

What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle? 
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish. 

 

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.